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inadvertently growing out of my head, so what, exactly, was the deal?

The only thing I can figure was that my mere presence as a fat woman in that particular cafe, for the half-asleep folks on their way to work, seemed like a blip in the matrix.  And Laurence Fishburne was not there to explain to them what was going on.

Unfortunately, this stuff doesn’t only affect fat people.  I think being stared at is something that nearly everyone who has an appearance that is at all non-normative experiences from time to time.  So I’d like to share a few tips for how to deal with being stared at.

How To Deal With Stares:

1) Assume That People Are Staring At You Due To Your Awesomeness. This is really the best way to deal with stares. When you assume that people are looking at you because you’re a hot fatty who looks awesome, you just don’t care. You almost expect stares to result from your blinding awesomeness.

It doesn’t do you any good to believe anything else. In truth, I think that about 70% of the stares I get are due to malevolent feelings about my fat, 20% are from people who think I look cool or have a good vibe and want to know my secret, and 10% just want to get with me. But when I’m out and about, I just assume that everyone is in the latter two categories. In reality, they may all hate my fat ass — but I DON’T KNOW. I have no idea what they’re thinking when they stare at me. So the choice is up to me, do I assume they think I’m awesome and/or hot, or assume that they hate me for my fat? If I want to be at all happy in my life, I must choose something positive when the truth is that I don’t know.

2) Wink. If you want to get really cheeky about things, just wink at people who are staring at you. It takes the pressure off and makes them uncomfortable.

3) Have A Chat. This is something I rarely do, but I tend to lean toward the non-confrontational side of things. But if you feel comfortable, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “I noticed you staring at me. Why is that?” You may actually get into an interesting conversation. Heck, the starer may indeed think you’re awesome and/or want to get with you. And if they’re really rude, please refer to the snappy comebacks section of Fat!So?

Have you ever been stared at?  How did you handle it?  Please share your thoughts below or at our facebook page.

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/free to get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining!